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Many know how much I enjoy the comic strips featuring Charlie Brown and his friends called the Peanuts. I grew up on the now classic television specials and make it a tradition to watch them with my family. Do you remember Charlie Brown's popular phrase of exasperation, "Good Grief", which he sighed whenever his kite got stuck in a tree, his baseball team was losing or his dog snoopy did something off the wall? Well, what exactly does this phrase mean? Is there such a thing as "good grief"?
If you've ever felt the sting of loss, whether it be the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, the separation of a divorce, or some other significant change, you understand the emotional strain that grief brings. Zapped of energy and desire, cumbered by heartache and fear, and sometimes weighed down by utter hopelessness, grief seems anything but good. Even those who did not experience the loss find grief to be clumsy and awkward, confused about what to do and say to make someone we know feel better. So often, people do not handle loss very well. Keeping busy, changing the subject, or trying hard not to think about it are ways of getting over it quickly, too quickly. While shifting the emotions for the immediate moment they have not gone. Instead they resurface from time to time in the form of stress, anxiety and pessimism.
I believe that God, in his loving nature, prepared us for inevitable loss and the strong emotional response to such heaviness. Our natural grief response, which is manifest differently for all people, is the path toward health and healing. We now understand the importance of giving oneself time to adjust to the loss, opportunity to talk about those persons or things that are no longer present in life, and to establish traditions which help to alleviate negative emotional response in order to recapture hope, strength and joy.
If you've experienced significant loss of any kind, especially in the past year, take time to express your grief and emotions to those you trust, who will listen and empathize with your loss. Prepare for the holidays by planning some rituals or traditions to memorialize or honor the life of a loved one who has died. And focus, through worship, on the author of life, that he may restore your hope, grant you strength and consume you with His presence.
If you know someone who has experienced loss and you wonder how to help, spend time with them and don't be afraid to talk about what is really on their mind. Listen and encourage. Don't rush them. Invite them to attend and participate in the Service of Remembrance on Nov. 30 at 6pm in the sanctuary. It will be worth yours and their time!
Yes, there is such a thing as good grief - it is grief expressed in creative and meaningful ways which restore hope and support life! |